Pissy, Pussy Squirters. Yep, I said It!

You mad, Piss and Boots? Who am I to call your “squirting” (hard air quotes with a sarcastic smirk for good measure) pissing? I know. I’m a jealous bitch, because I can’t make my pussy squirt. Probably in your fantasies, but I’m gonna let you continue to be great and think what you want on that. But I am going to have to correct you on why YOU are not actually squirting, anything but the piss, and nothing but the piss.

As it turns out, I have participated in a few internet discussions on the subject. In each one, more and more people shouted that the women in the hundreds of thousands of online videos busting it wide open, and titling their clips as “squirting”, are indeed doing so. Such an opinion is perfectly fine, but I don’t see how some can’t tell when a woman is clearly faking and clearly pissing. Come on!

Projectile streams of yellow fluid coming from the pussy making golden yellow puddles under the female “squirting” doesn’t say to you that she is just relieving her bladder? Seriously?

You may say, “why do you care anyway”.

You already know I think the best part of porn is the woman cumming.  So, I don’t really, but when I want to see a good, creamy, pussy squirting video, I don’t want to have to sift through 20 piss queen videos to get to what I really want.

I mean, let me plead the case for my point.

  1. Excuse me, I’m sorry. But even the stoniest of females cannot not react to an orgasm. Wait, is that even possible, to not even twitch, cross your eyes, or grind your teeth while trying not to verbally react to a good one? No, it isn’t. Not unless she is dead! How are all these famed squirt queens from the internet supposedly doing it for real, when these bitches are lying there like nothing great is happening in their pussies? Those women are faking! Their pussies aren’t even quaking.

Skip to about the 9 minute mark for the money shot. *No sound, but some other signs are there.

Real squirter

I don’t have any other points to my argument, yet think about it. It makes sense. If you ever came across a video of a girl with a thick, sticky looking, creamy substance shooting out of her pussy, you would be able to discern the difference between a true squirter and all these piss queens.

In one distinctive online roundtable, one woman professed her studies on the matter, female ejaculation. She stated that any woman could make her self squirt depending her abilities to work her muscles. Fine. I’ve heard that several times. She went on to say that research has pointed to women, possibly squirt depending on their feelings for their partner (this could apply to a woman in a solo squirting video taking into perspective of her imaginations and desires for interactions with a partner although she is alone).  In addition, the woman said that female ejaculate isn’t always opaque.

There’s no standard to the rule and there are exceptions. That’s with anything. No problem with that. But like I said before, you can’t fake or hide ultimate gratification. That’s with anything. The body’s reactions will be visible. The reactions may be big or small, but they will be there.

Don’t try to sell to me some dead fish girl with a steady stream of juice shooting out of her pussy as anything more than what she is: a pissy bed having faker.

tripledildo
Serves no real purpose here, but look at that thing.

If you know like I do, you’ll be wary of “squirters” and say no, unless the screencap indicates there will be some cream projecting. And if you are gonna keep on with your “squirt” videos, fake squirters, try what the old porn girls used to do. Load your pussy with a creamy fluid, and take some acting classes.

Until then, I’m gonna keep calling you out.

Come back next week for a post on the obsession with squirting and validating one’s sexuality by posting a “squirt” video on Facebook.
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