Category Archives: Odd News

No Hands, No Feet Masturbation. Meet The Autoblow 2

No girl to suck your dick? Your hand doesn’t have the motility for you to use it for a stroke? Sit your ass down, throw that dick on the table and slide the Autoblow 2 on that piece!

autoblow-2-

When I sat down to write this post, I originally went researching sex toys for people with disabilities (compared to this we won’t even get on that other lame shit I was going to post). Chiiiiiile, who knew I was going to stumble on this gem. I want to buy my man one of these just to see it work. For $89, you can’t beat a deal like this!

How do you get one as it’s not out yet? Donate to the Indiegogo campaign. When the product has been finished, yours will be shipped out to you.

The product was invented for people with disabilities such as amputations, nerve damage, etc. by Brian Sloan. It’s handsfree because it’s robotic.

From the little I know about male masturbator products, this one is 100 steps above them.  It’s not just a hole in a can as it works at multiple speeds and has an industrial motor so you know it has the power to squeeze that cock like some good, tight pussy, or mouth… or ass.  One more best thing about this toy, it doesn’t use batteries. None of that bullshit drama of dead batteries and the struggle to dig a pair out of the remote. Autoblow 2 plugs into a wall outlet.

Hot damn! If you feel like you could kiss the guy behind this, fuck that shit, and throw your money at him instead. Here ya go!

Autoblow 2 demo video, fundraiser/order page, and general, product greatness central. 

Won’t God do it? Why don’t you let him use you?

 I stay being a "ain't shit heifer". Yet in my family this is what they would say. Don't throw tomatoes at me. I'm just spreading the word.
I stay being aain’t shit heifer”. Yet in my family this is what they would say. Don’t throw tomatoes at me. I’m just spreading the word.

All you busy bees, when a bright idea comes to mind, run with it. Bless this young man who is doing so much for those who can do much less for themselves.

Viva la sexual satisfaction for everyone!

poundit

Weeeeeee!

When Muthafukas Hate On Your Sex: Uncle Luke Makes Them Eat It!

As I’m typing this post, I’m sitting here reading the article on Uncle Luke’s (Rapper Luther Campbell) latest fuckfest, um er performance, at St. Louis’ Sound Bar. During this particular show, the Godfather of freaky music got the girls to go down on each other for a prize of $1,000, and no one said a thing for several minutes. Finally a manager put a halt to it, but not before the shit was taped and sent straight to the internet.

stripperseating

The thing got circulated around Facebook and everyone had a good time peeking and skeeting to the recorded festivities, until some preacher decided to take it upon his holy self to seek out these fine, young tenders, uh-uh, young ladies to tell them they don’t have to do these glorious, um, hot, um uh, demeaning things on cam in front of a crowded club for pocket change. With his income as a preacher, he could surely make ten thousand rain on them in the back of the church in the pastor’s study early one Sunday morning.

hankypanky

Then there was more of the same, more of the same lying ass shit as when Mr. Preacher Man went on about wanting to guide these women,  his mission went viral, and the news people came a calling.

All I want to know is, how many times did he jack off to that pussy munching before he cut the clip off and cleaned up his sticky fingers and his keyboard?

cummingkeyboard

You know he did it. Same as that club manager who waited minutes before he went to stop it acting all appalled. In my circle we call them “ghost nuts“. It happens when you don’t even touch it. You just “unh-unh” in your pants and let the dribble run down your leg.

I’m sorry, but when I am utterly disgusted and offended, it doesn’t take me until after I’ve busted 10 nuts for me to go put a stop to things. I jump up first and don’t even think of putting my hand down my pants. Shit must be way different in St. Louis.

We all know it’s no different though with these vulture like men out here claiming to want to save wayward women. Change comes about through action, not words. What are your words going to do for women who have no problem acting on command to the tune of $1,000?

Mr. Preacher Man, sit your ass down. The club is closed down, and the owners are out here faking it just like you to the press stating their hate for Luke and his whore mongering ways. You’ve made your point about our voyeuristic society and how we’ve been ruined. Blah, blah, blah. If we were all correct and living proper, we wouldn’t need you. So shouldn’t you just shut up, jack to the licking, bob your head to the beat, and let these women do what they do?

The pews won’t be any less empty with sluts with lost souls come Sunday morning. You don’t have to try so hard next time. I hear other preachers are getting them to practically let them hit right on the first row during Sunday Service asking them to leave the panties at home in the drawer and spread those legs a little sum’-sum’ so they can decide which one’s club their going to shoot up when they come down from the pulpit once the spirit of that pussy aroma hits them and entices them down during their praise leading.

If you get your sermon right, sir, a flood of good pussy will come bowing to you too.

preacher

Some call me a prophet. I just say I’m a bullshit detector.

Either way, drop something in the offering basket of “The House of Good Pussy La Drama Princess”. Buy a copy of one of these freak books I’m serving. You can put it on your tablet so Sister Jenkins ain’t got to see the cover and know you like them filth books like you do. LaDramaPrincess.com 

 

Join Me Tonight For My Christian Porn Show

I’m camming tonight at 11pm EST. Join me! I’ll be reading from the book of Mark, 3rd chapter, following that up with a hymn from the song book, and ending with a sit and spin on old “Big John” my favorite dildo up my ass.

If you come in early, I’ll give you a shoutout, lick “Big John”, then read another scripture, from your book of your choice, of course.

Jesus and my dildo, that’s all I need to keep me on the good foot. Yes, indeed!

You thought I was serious, didn’t you?

I wasn’t, but there’s someone out there that definitely is serious about it.  Ex-pornstar  Monica Foster says that her porn is sweet baby Jesus lying in a manger approved. Don’t believe it, just click

http://christianpornstar.com/

Disclaimer:  My giant dildo isn’t called, “Big John”. It’s referred to  as “The Big Gray Thang”. Just thought you should know. 😉

Just Knock That Blood Off. You Can Still Wear It.

Vaginal knitting. It’s the latest rage in performance art, and self-titled craftivist (uh, I’m assuming here that’s craft-er and activist smashed together to make one lame name) Casey Jenkins won’t let her monthly bleeding season stop her show. Yes, this woman is knitting articles of clothing from yarn stuffed in her cooch, and she is even going so far as to do it as a marathon act to prove her point. She’ll be going 28 days pulling the ole ball of yarn from her box for a show in Darwin, Australia. Something about addressing taboos towards female genitalia. Girl, no! Don’t nobody want THAT after it’s been up THERE, AND after you pissed on it, bled on it, and all your other juices have soaked through it.

“Unsurprisingly, the idea of vaginal performance has left more than a few people with their mouths agape. Jenkins has described the piece as (let out sarcastic gasp here) “arousing” and promises to work non-stop during the days she’s knitting, come hell or high water… or menstruation.”

Some people just go too far. Check the rest of the article on HuffPost.

I’m done. fury