Category Archives: Sex Products

No Hands, No Feet Masturbation. Meet The Autoblow 2

No girl to suck your dick? Your hand doesn’t have the motility for you to use it for a stroke? Sit your ass down, throw that dick on the table and slide the Autoblow 2 on that piece!

autoblow-2-

When I sat down to write this post, I originally went researching sex toys for people with disabilities (compared to this we won’t even get on that other lame shit I was going to post). Chiiiiiile, who knew I was going to stumble on this gem. I want to buy my man one of these just to see it work. For $89, you can’t beat a deal like this!

How do you get one as it’s not out yet? Donate to the Indiegogo campaign. When the product has been finished, yours will be shipped out to you.

The product was invented for people with disabilities such as amputations, nerve damage, etc. by Brian Sloan. It’s handsfree because it’s robotic.

From the little I know about male masturbator products, this one is 100 steps above them.  It’s not just a hole in a can as it works at multiple speeds and has an industrial motor so you know it has the power to squeeze that cock like some good, tight pussy, or mouth… or ass.  One more best thing about this toy, it doesn’t use batteries. None of that bullshit drama of dead batteries and the struggle to dig a pair out of the remote. Autoblow 2 plugs into a wall outlet.

Hot damn! If you feel like you could kiss the guy behind this, fuck that shit, and throw your money at him instead. Here ya go!

Autoblow 2 demo video, fundraiser/order page, and general, product greatness central. 

Won’t God do it? Why don’t you let him use you?

 I stay being a "ain't shit heifer". Yet in my family this is what they would say. Don't throw tomatoes at me. I'm just spreading the word.
I stay being aain’t shit heifer”. Yet in my family this is what they would say. Don’t throw tomatoes at me. I’m just spreading the word.

All you busy bees, when a bright idea comes to mind, run with it. Bless this young man who is doing so much for those who can do much less for themselves.

Viva la sexual satisfaction for everyone!

poundit

Weeeeeee!

Reader Email: Her Clit Is Too Little. Help!

The Eroticist’s Advice

Have you ever had one take the panties off and the clit was no where in sight? Okay, well you can easily relate to this reader. Hold my hand. I’m about to teach you something.

Dear La Drama Princess,

I have this new girl, and this is the second one I’ve had who has a super small clit. I ain’t into dicks, but a big clit is what I prefer sucking on when I’m giving my girl oral. I pull her lips back and try to suck, but it’s too hard to keep it out for me to give her good oral. I have big lips and her shit is super small. I stick licking, but I want to give her the full experience. She uses toys too when I’m licking her pussy. What can I do to get to her clit better?

-Signed, If Her Clit Was Any Smaller…


Why do y’all have to hate on small clits? Like small dicks, the people who own them have feelings too. Don’t make them cry because nature didn’t spend much time on their sexual appendages. It’s not their fault.

Dear reader,

I  ain’t gone tell no fibs. I don’t know much about the itty bitty clitty committee and it’s board of directors. I’ve seen them. I don’t have one, and I praise thee for not having such an affliction.

Smaller size clits are as normal as bigger ones, they all have the same amount of nerve endings.

Mr. Drama, yes, like our reader, has had to struggle mode with them. What he advises for sucking and licking a smaller clit is to push the hood back as far as you can get it. Duh! Reader, I know you know that. I wonder though if you are skinning the hood all the way back?

My partner in oral also advises not to suck too hard. Keep the sucking momentum on an even kiln. While you are sucking, you must employ digital vaginal stimulation as the clit is easier to slip from your lips because it is so small and she’s moving around while you’re making her cum. You don’t want her almost their and your simple ass loses the clit from your mouth. Shame!

lickingfingering
Like this, yet use your other hand to expose the small clit completely. Hook your fingers up instead of down. I don’t know why people still turn their fingers down to play in the pussy. What are you doing? Stroking the rectum? Sir/Ma’am! Just fuck the ass.

Personally, I don’t trust this shit, and I want all of my readers and their lovers to get off, and well, so I thought back to some research I’d conducted on toys and remembered this one.

Advice Breakdown 

labiaspreader
For solo or partnered play.

 

The old school way is well and good, but this update to small clit struggle sucking seems like a true winner.

By looking at the diagram, you can see, you can insert it. The curved center of it is what you push side. While inside the vagina, it will stimulate the g-spot as her pussy contracts and she is moving around.

The arms of the thing sticking up, that’s what will hold open her labia (her pussy lips) which will also serve to spread the hood back from covering the small clit. This makes the toy handsfree for partnered sex, and for solo. You can get your pussy ate easily, the clit served, or stroke it when no one is around.

The Intimate Spreader by You 2 Toys received 4 out of 5 stars by Property of Potter (see her full review here), and retails for under $30 USD, which isn’t too bad for the pay off.

It is made of silicone and has a flexible wire inside it to make it bendable. FYI: You 2 Toys has also made a battery powered version, view it here.

If the reader in our email, or any of you try this, I’d love your personal review. I have no reason to use it, but just as a referral for my small clit friends out there, I could eat up the knowledge. Pun intended?

clitsucking

Bless y’all. I’ll take my thumb clit, and get on out of here. See ya next week!

clit-huge-clit


 

If you have a sexual thing going on you could use some advice about,  write to TheEroticistsAdvice at g mail dot com (make it look like a real email address before sending), and your question will be answered on this blog on Tuesday. Identities are kept anonymous. 

#support #indieauthors Buy all of my erotic books from LaDramaPrincess.com. Rate and read and leave reviews while you’re there. Licks!

Up My Ass With A Purple Rod. A Sex Toy Review

Once upon a time, there was a 20-something year old black girl with a big butt, and a penchant for exploration. She sat on the internet all the time roaming for anything sexual to make her tingle. One day while surfing, a purple stick of vibrating beads nearly bumped her on the nose from the other side of her computer screen. She clicked “buy now”, and the rest was history.

This is the story of me, my webcam, my man, and the Waterproof Flexible Vibrating Beads.

SAM_3142

 

The year I first bought this toy was 2006. I’ll start with the positives with this thing.

Pluses

  1. The beads are smooth all around so no rough seams that could tear you inside.  *Upon checking Amazon, a 2012 review stated their toy’s beads were not smooth. Mine were and each was made of two pieces of acrylic as stated in the review. I guess mine were buffed or Pipedream has changed the quality of it since I last bought it.
  2. The beads are graduated nicely. The first one isn’t too big which can be a big fear for a first timer with beads. Of course, I’d decided I would try beads based on porn views and knew what to look for, but I’m so easily influenced.  pathetic
  3. I love purple. I think it also comes in a nice, bright pink. The purple one looks more jeweled so this thing is easy to look at.  Again, it doesn’t look intimidating.
  4. It has about 4 speeds, I think. I don’t quickly recall because it’s been a while since I’ve used it. More on that in the “minuses” section.
  5. The vibrations are intense but not too strong to cause numbness if you leave it on or in you awhile. Low speed is even good with this thing, that’s if you usually you have to have your vibrators on high like I do.
  6. This thing is great for clitoral stimulation and vaginal penetration for the g-spot.
  7. It’s flexible so you can bend it in positions while you do other things with your other hand with other toys if you need.
  8. It is not loud. It vibrates to produce a nice murmur.
  9. It’s relatively cheap. You can get one less than $20 excluding shipping.
  10. It is actually waterproof.
  11. It’s easy to clean.
  12. It’s durable.

Okay, I think that’s all the gushing I can do about these flexible beads. Let’s get to the bad part!

Minuses

  1. Is it my pussy and ass, or is it really so easy to burn this vibrator’s motor out? It worked fine for several uses. I’ll say after about 10, the thing starts to blink out.
  2. I bought this toy 3x before I gave up.

I just don’t know what is with this thing, but it was disappointing to say the least. There are flexible beads that don’t vibrate I could buy. Ehh.

What we’ve done with these beads. 

SAM_3143

Together:

Missionary style-him rubbing it on my clit while he plows me.

rollclit

Foreplay-vaginal penetration with lots of in and out. The largest bead seems to rub my g-spot very well without trying much.

Me solo:

Anal-on cam on the bed. It’s easy to reach over my huge ass to push this inside of me back there. I’ve made a video using this toy in that position. Yea, don’t ask as I’m not passing the clip around.

Masturbation-on the side of a garden tub filled with a bubble bath. I also did myself on the tub in a video for him. The flexible vibrating beads were easy to reach over my front for rubbing the top of my clit, again because of the stick they are on and because they flex. I was fat at the time, so this was major. It seemed like a short extension of my arm, but enough.

sluttub

 

As I’ve said, I haven’t bought this toy again. I liked the idea. I don’t think it was my brand of batteries (it takes AAA I think). I use Duracell batteries. I don’t think I put too much stress on it.

Still, I love Pipedream toys. I’m an actual fan, but this was a failure nonetheless. Maybe one day I will give in to those regular, manual flexible beads. Who am I kidding?

nah

We Got It From A Tranny: The Cock Ring. A Sex Toy Review.

One night, a few years ago, I was watching some porn (yes, we are going there again). It was tranny porn. You may have heard of the porn star,  BigDickBitch? TSMadison is her tame name. Well, I saw her working this man’s cock over with her mouth with him in a cock ring  under his balls. The way that thang looked, gawd! I had to have my man in one. Don’t you feel the same? Just look at it.

TSMadison

It didn’t take much to convince my love. Does the submissive have the dominate tamed? Maybe, because I knew he would try it. I’d already come up with my plan of finding the perfect one to entice him with. I knew I could sway him based on the material it was made of. This is what I picked out:

 

cockring

What we did:

He came over (yea, we haven’t cohabited). He got naked. I did too. He laid down and I brought it out, with lube. You need the lube for safety. He was partially hard. That’s important too. I coated his junk at the base with the lube.  I snapped it on comfortably.

I put the dick in mouth and showed him what it do (he already knew, but for refreshers of course).

 

What’s this safety business, you speak of, Princess?

The instructions on the box said it was necessary for removal to put the band on a certain way. You don’t want to put it on and the junk gets really hard and the thing’s stuck in his flesh when he finally cums and it’s time to take it off. You could, but if you think like me, you won’t want to be sitting in the E.R. one afternoon with a stupid look on your face and an embarrassing explanation to give to the charge nurse. You also don’t want to snap it on too tightly. Be considerate of growth for when he’s fully aroused. Things could get dangerous around there.

 

How did we like it?

My perspective: Ugh! If I am sucking it to ejaculation, I don’t want to go for more than  5 minutes. I love to give head. I want to get him there as fast as I can as well as I can. You don’t know what this mouth can do? I have receipts. I can make you call my name just by using my mouth, with my hands tied behind my back. Needless to say, it took an hour of sucking before I gave up. We ended up fucking and he still hadn’t come. More on that later.

Oh yea, which reminds me. That’s a good use for the cock ring. When you suck dick, wrapping your hand around the base and cupping the balls is great for stimulation. The cock ring frees your hand and does all the work while you do other things with your hands.

His perspective: He loves getting his dick sucked. He had no complaints about how long it took. He says the longer I spend on his dick, the happier he is. I feel more inadequate taking longer than 5 minutes. It’s all in my head.

 

Who do we suggest using a cock ring?

My advice: Use this if you or your partner is too quick to cum. This will surely slow him down. He will have the urge, but it won’t come out. There is also a delayed effect after it is off. It still takes a while.

His advice: Don’t use this if you have dick control already. You could end up all day trying to bust a nut.

 

His verdict: He could take or leave the cock ring. He did it for me and my life through porn fantasies.

My verdict: The cock ring is now in the dust bin.

 

By the time we were fucking, he was saying, “damn, I want to cum”. I felt sorry for him. No torture for my boo.

 

This is how it looks snapped on at the last button. Ours is made of soft material. You can get it in leather or neoprene. It cost me less than $20. Don’t remember the brand, but it doesn’t really matter.

cockring2

 

Get one anywhere. Try something new and see if you can get him to squirt like TS Madison did that guy in the pic. Me…

meh

I ain’t got that kinda time.

Before we go, here’s a word from our sponsors…

swingingsubmissionpromo4

LaDramaPrincess.com

My Boyfriend, The Super Freak, Makes Me Fuck Other Dicks. A Sex Toy Review.

My favorite thing about multiple partner sex is the ultimate, sweet agony of having one dick retreat from my pussy and another run up in it really fast. No two dicks are the same. I should know. I’ve had several. No two men are the same. You should expect their dicks to be extremely dissimilar, although they are dicks the same.

If you’ve fucked 4 different men in a week’s time, your mind will remember the feeling of them all, but as each minute passes, the exact friction you received from them will slowly fade from your memory. You need that newness, that immediacy of a new dick to truly get as much out of having multiple fucks in a short span of time as you’d hope for.

When you have a man, receiving many dicks can’t be good, unless you’re crafty.

I know my man and I aren’t the only ones who use toys in the bedroom. No way. Everyone does that now, don’t they? Do you guys line them up beforehand and decide what you want to use? We do. I keep all of my toys in a box under the bed. One day/morning, he got under the bed and found something he hadn’t used before, and I guess hadn’t seen. He pulled out the….

DoubleDong

It wasn’t the first time that he’d penetrated me twice at the same time, the dp. The morning he pulled this out from under the bed, it was the second time. The first experience he had with me in a dp was my first time overall. He used his fingers in my asshole and his dick in my pussy then. I didn’t know what to think when he got this toy out.

Yes, it was my toy. So you want to know why I had it if I’d never been double penetrated with it, right? Yes, I bought it to use on someone else. That’s a blog post for another day. I’ll tell you if I get enough comments and “likes” for it.

big-wink

As I was saying, my man is a super freak. To me a super freak is a person who doesn’t hold back in the bedroom. You can expect them to do the most within their limits. Would I say he’s freakier than me? Yes! He wasn’t going to use this and not put it in both my pussy and ass, at the same damn time.

I was already soaking wet, as he is so skilled at getting me. Lube wasn’t an issue, but he licked my pussy again just to be sure.

In my pussy he inserted it first, the end with the nubs. Wheeewwww!!!! My shit opened up. Mind you, I was super wet, so the stretching didn’t hurt, but I was very full. He got me cummng using that end and starting working on the back.

I wanted to hold my breath, but he hates that. He gave me the look. He coached me into taking it. He pushed it in. I felt myself opening up slowly back there. He was patient, still fucking the front with the nubby end of the dong. He slid deeper into my ass, pushing firmly, but somehow tenderly simultaneously.

Finally, all of the ribs on that end of the dong were inside of my ass. Then that magical, generous, anal fullness came. I relaxed my body, and subsequently too, I came. My pussy pulsated, flexed, and expanded. Naturally, I pushed cum out of my pussy, and he pushed both ends of the dick deeper in me, front and back.

I’m a multiple orgasm-er. So, you know what happened. I came and came. I whimpered, I screamed, I grunted and yelled from deep in the pit of my soul. The neighbors should have came knocking. His assertion: “they were too busy jacking off from your porno sounds”.

This is his favorite toy to use on me. He calls it “the big gray thing”. Toy rotation hasn’t come back around to it in all these years, but it will. There’s too many things to use before we get back to it, including our own mouths, hands, and dick to keep it creamy.

  1. I would strongly advise this toy if you are hypersensitive to toy materials.
  2. It does not have a harsh, plastic-y smell.
  3. It’s easy to clean and store.
  4. It is heavy and substantial.
  5. You could slap someone upside the head with it and get their attention if you had nothing else.
  6. It’s not flimsy and will fill up a pussy well enough to know there is something in there.
  7. It isn’t too big to be unusable.

I am not sure who makes this dong. I bought it several years ago online. Possibly, it is by California Exotics or PipeDream as those are my two favorite sex toy brands. I think I paid around $15 or $18 dollars for it back then.

Here it is stretched out:

DoubleDong2
My laptop is about 17 inches wide.

Sex toy giveaway for a sex sling. The giveaway runs through my mailing list. All you need to do to win is input your valid email address here: http://bit.ly/1aA0CBo and wait for the drawing May 12, the same day THIS book comes out:

SwingingFullcover

sexsling

Never know, I may giveaway another toy as a surprise in the drawing.

*All toys I giveaway are brand new. Some I ship directly from the store.

See ya freaks. And if you want to know about why I bought “the big gray thing” in the first place, leave me a comment or a “like”.

Join Me Tonight For My Christian Porn Show

I’m camming tonight at 11pm EST. Join me! I’ll be reading from the book of Mark, 3rd chapter, following that up with a hymn from the song book, and ending with a sit and spin on old “Big John” my favorite dildo up my ass.

If you come in early, I’ll give you a shoutout, lick “Big John”, then read another scripture, from your book of your choice, of course.

Jesus and my dildo, that’s all I need to keep me on the good foot. Yes, indeed!

You thought I was serious, didn’t you?

I wasn’t, but there’s someone out there that definitely is serious about it.  Ex-pornstar  Monica Foster says that her porn is sweet baby Jesus lying in a manger approved. Don’t believe it, just click

http://christianpornstar.com/

Disclaimer:  My giant dildo isn’t called, “Big John”. It’s referred to  as “The Big Gray Thang”. Just thought you should know. 😉