Category Archives: The Eroticist’s Advice

Reader Email: We Did A Threesome Now He’s Falling For Her

The Eroticist’s Advice

We’re back on for answering reader questions. Here’s the latest:

Dear Eroticist,

I took a friend with me to go and see a girl that is what we describe as a “pass around”.  This girl sleeps with multiple guys at one time. It’s nothing special for about 4 men to show up at her house and she’ll let them all in and let them all fuck her. I took a friend with me. He’s kind of square. I told him he should come with me and see what it’s like. He decided to come. We all fuck her. Everyone’s regrouping and everything before we leave later that night. Why did I hear this fool telling the girl, “you don’t have to do this. You need a man who will settle you down.”

I couldn’t believe it. I walked in. She’s looking at him like, “man, please”. I had to get him out of there he was, making himself look like a simp. Everybody who goes over there knows what she’s like. She knows what she is. Why do some men have to fall for the hoe?

-Signed, They Fall In Love With These Hoes


Hoes be winning. Since the mid 00’s it’s been hoe season. They get the trips, the house, the ring.  You see them on the cover of magazines.

Don’t hate your friend, “Fall In Love”. There’s a legion of men who throw on their capes to save women who don’t want to be saved.


Unlike the women in the media who had a hoe come up, your group jump off either is grounded in reality or doesn’t know what all she can gain from becoming the wife of a savior type man. I appreciate her, I’ll tell you what. Y’all will say a woman that fucks multiple men at the same time has no self-worth. I don’t know about that in all cases.  I don’t really feel like trying to break down this girl’s mind, but as I look at it at this moment, our reader’s local hoe is strong minded.

I have to respect women who have their own mind. For whatever you want or require, you have to a resilient mind to get it. This ain’t the lotto. We have to go for what we want to have pleasure.

Advice Breakdown

“Fall In Love”, your friend isn’t used to this type of woman. You probably aren’t either, but you’ve managed to ignore any sagging bridges that lead into the depths of her mind.  I commend you too. Get in and get that bang. If that’s the arrangements, that’s how it has to be.


I strongly suggest you don’t invite any more men to your sex parties with Girl Hoe. If you do, there’s prospect she won’t have you back.

And yea, I’m going to say it. Dump your friend. No one needs simps like him in their lives.

I will never understand people who can’t understand fuck arrangements.

If you’re going to cry and shit with the R&B playing after the nut and all she asked you to do was break her back and keep it moving, you might as well keep your ass at home and masturbate to the internet. You’re one of those people we can’t take anywhere.

Just damn!


This concludes this round of advice from The Eroticist and Mr. Drama. Any email we haven’t answered here on the blog will be responded to privately and not posted. Look for more of The Eroticist’s Advice published her later 2014 or early 2015.

#support #indieauthors Buy all of my erotic books Rate and read and leave reviews while you’re there.


Reader Email: I like To Hold My Pee So I Can Feel Like I’m Cumming

The Eroticist’s Advice

This week’s email comes from a 50 year old woman with an unusual fetish. Have you ever heard of it?

Dear Eroticist,

I have a question about something that I have  been doing for years. I’m 50, soon will be 51. I don’t know how to come out and ask this but, is there something wrong with me if I can only orgasm when I pee? When I was 12 or 13, I noticed that when I have to pee really bad, it starts to feel good to me. When I’m letting it out, it feels really, really, really good to me. I have never had an orgasm from sex, but when I hold my pee like this, it feels like what other women say their sex orgasms feel like. My pussy gets tight and I am so hot.

Over time I’ve become addicted to this and will hold my pee just to get off this way. I’ve never been married, and when I’m seeing a man and we have sex, I admit, I fake orgasms. There is no faking when I pee though.

I’ve never told anyone about this. I want to know if anyone else has ever experienced this?

-Signed, Holding My Water So I Can Cum


No one wants to answer?

I know there’s are some out there who knows about this. I’ve seen it discussed on the internet before.  And, yes, I’ve even experienced this.

Pee-gasm, that’s the lay name for what our reader, me, and I’m positive thousands of women have had. What is a pee-gasm? Think of it as the reverse of a golden shower. You hold the pee to get the orgasm and don’t get off to the pee to orgasm as you’re not having sex while doing it. Understand?


The sensation of orgasm happens when one relieves themselves after holding a bladder full of urine, usually releasing a full blast of urine into the bowl. The vagina contracts and the body shudders. Some say they feel tingling all over their body.


“Holding My Water”, the entire time you were holding it, your bladder was pressing on your uterus and vaginal walls. The urethra, a traveling canal for pee, is just below the clitoris. In some women, their sexual anatomy and lower excretory anatomy are exceptionally close. In other words, from almost peeing your pants your clitoris gets touched internally by your bladder pressing on your urethra. Some of us were built to have this effect, and others will never know what I am talking about, as nature has placed their urethra further away from their bladder. Some say men can’t do it as their bodies aren’t even set up for this. In a man, his urethra slams shut when his feel good juice line is in use. But are some men routed differently down there and can actually experience this? Dick control? Piss control?

Men? Have you had a pee-gasm?

Drop me a line.

“Holding My Water” the sensation is delightful, but I can’t write this without telling you to stop it. Right now!

Holding pee is never going to be good for your bladder or your urinary tract. You could get an infection, and there is a threat you bladder could rupture, or could get little tears if you are holding too much pee or have been stretching it like this for a time, though I must input my bladder isn’t always overly full when I feel this on the toilet. Upon a ruptured bladder, one is at risk for sepsis, which in the simplest terms is when the blood is infected. Yes, you could die due to sepsis brought about by a ruptured bladder.

Advice Breakdown

To our reader: there are much better ways to have an orgasm, and they won’t damage you later.

This has been told to women countless times over the past few decades: learn your body and get into what makes you cum. Is this is the first article written advising them against holding their pee to get off? You’d better know it isn’t.

As I said before, you don’t necessarily have to be on full for your body to orgasm from peeing. Again, in some women it can happen regardless. Fetishes aren’t odd, but a fixation is often unhealthy, because it takes your time and devotion away from something better for you. I think that is what you have done reader.

You’ve never had an orgasm during sex. Fix that! I want a good orgasm while fucking or fingering to happen for you. You deserve more than have only had a pee-gasm. You’re a mature lady now. Give up what you did as a kid when you had little else.


It’s time.

To the women who have never had the pee-gasmdon’t you dare try it.

If you have a question for The Eroticist to answer, write to TheEroticistsAdvice at g mail dot com (make it look like a real email address before sending), and your question will be answered on this blog the following Tuesday. 

#support #indieauthors Buy all of my erotic books Rate and read and leave reviews while you’re there.

Reader Email: Her Clit Is Too Little. Help!

The Eroticist’s Advice

Have you ever had one take the panties off and the clit was no where in sight? Okay, well you can easily relate to this reader. Hold my hand. I’m about to teach you something.

Dear La Drama Princess,

I have this new girl, and this is the second one I’ve had who has a super small clit. I ain’t into dicks, but a big clit is what I prefer sucking on when I’m giving my girl oral. I pull her lips back and try to suck, but it’s too hard to keep it out for me to give her good oral. I have big lips and her shit is super small. I stick licking, but I want to give her the full experience. She uses toys too when I’m licking her pussy. What can I do to get to her clit better?

-Signed, If Her Clit Was Any Smaller…

Why do y’all have to hate on small clits? Like small dicks, the people who own them have feelings too. Don’t make them cry because nature didn’t spend much time on their sexual appendages. It’s not their fault.

Dear reader,

I  ain’t gone tell no fibs. I don’t know much about the itty bitty clitty committee and it’s board of directors. I’ve seen them. I don’t have one, and I praise thee for not having such an affliction.

Smaller size clits are as normal as bigger ones, they all have the same amount of nerve endings.

Mr. Drama, yes, like our reader, has had to struggle mode with them. What he advises for sucking and licking a smaller clit is to push the hood back as far as you can get it. Duh! Reader, I know you know that. I wonder though if you are skinning the hood all the way back?

My partner in oral also advises not to suck too hard. Keep the sucking momentum on an even kiln. While you are sucking, you must employ digital vaginal stimulation as the clit is easier to slip from your lips because it is so small and she’s moving around while you’re making her cum. You don’t want her almost their and your simple ass loses the clit from your mouth. Shame!

Like this, yet use your other hand to expose the small clit completely. Hook your fingers up instead of down. I don’t know why people still turn their fingers down to play in the pussy. What are you doing? Stroking the rectum? Sir/Ma’am! Just fuck the ass.

Personally, I don’t trust this shit, and I want all of my readers and their lovers to get off, and well, so I thought back to some research I’d conducted on toys and remembered this one.

Advice Breakdown 

For solo or partnered play.


The old school way is well and good, but this update to small clit struggle sucking seems like a true winner.

By looking at the diagram, you can see, you can insert it. The curved center of it is what you push side. While inside the vagina, it will stimulate the g-spot as her pussy contracts and she is moving around.

The arms of the thing sticking up, that’s what will hold open her labia (her pussy lips) which will also serve to spread the hood back from covering the small clit. This makes the toy handsfree for partnered sex, and for solo. You can get your pussy ate easily, the clit served, or stroke it when no one is around.

The Intimate Spreader by You 2 Toys received 4 out of 5 stars by Property of Potter (see her full review here), and retails for under $30 USD, which isn’t too bad for the pay off.

It is made of silicone and has a flexible wire inside it to make it bendable. FYI: You 2 Toys has also made a battery powered version, view it here.

If the reader in our email, or any of you try this, I’d love your personal review. I have no reason to use it, but just as a referral for my small clit friends out there, I could eat up the knowledge. Pun intended?


Bless y’all. I’ll take my thumb clit, and get on out of here. See ya next week!



If you have a sexual thing going on you could use some advice about,  write to TheEroticistsAdvice at g mail dot com (make it look like a real email address before sending), and your question will be answered on this blog on Tuesday. Identities are kept anonymous. 

#support #indieauthors Buy all of my erotic books from Rate and read and leave reviews while you’re there. Licks!

Reader Email: My Husband Cheated. Now He Wants To Have Sex With Me.

The Eroticist’s Advice

Dear Eroticist,

I’m going through. My Husband cheated and I took him back. You may ask why, but I’m not letting anyone else have my man. But now that we are back together, how do I have sex with him after all this? The sex part is very hard for me,  much harder than just having him back in the house. He’d moved with his mistress and they lived together for two months. It didn’t work out and he came back to me. I took him back. I know I was stupid for that. But he is my husband. What can I do to have sex with him again? I keep thinking about them and what it was like, and why he is back with me.

-Signed, I Can’t Fuck My Cheating Husband

Y’all are getting heavy with shit ain’tcha. Mr. Drama and I have discussed this one and we are on the same page. Let’s jump in.

You said that he is recently back living with you after living with the other woman for a short stint, and I know this has to be extremely hard to deal with on so many emotional levels. You have your commitment to your husband, and he has dashed his and now he wants to act like the lyrics of an R&B song and come crawling back.


Look, I am not a marriage counselor, I haven’t been married, but I do know allll about emotions. “Emotional” should have been my middle name.

I feel it is good to have him back in the house with you, because it is yours together. That is part of the commitment. This is part of the whole swing of things you didn’t need to wait to get back. Giving him your body again: I won’t say do it on the first night of him lying in your marital bed.


Advice Breakdown 

The emotions, why he didn’t have that tight emotional tie with you before the cheating to keep him from cheating, are such which needs to be investigated the hell out until you hit the heart of the matter. If he wasn’t ever the type of to open up, get real now. He isn’t going to be easy to get this out of. I say to be direct in what you need to know. Speak your heart and share yours and require him to do the same. There is no real work he can do if he isn’t giving you the truth from his heart, not that found in his head where it’s easier to uncover things to say that he feels you want to hear, or he feels are easier to say.

If he isn’t going to open up, I say commitment is void.

You can’t be in a healthy relationship with another person by yourself. Get what I mean?

As soon as you read this tell him what you require. You must have an open stream of communication about what he expects out of your relationship post-affair, and you need to set clear requirements for him to make you trust him again. And for you to fuck him again, you must be able to trust him again.


As the trust grows, I feel that you will want to have sex with your husband. You will open yourself up to him to come to have you. With the trust back, what she did with him, and what he did to her, why he liked her, what is so great about her body compared to yours, and things of that nature won’t jump into your head all the time when you think of having sex with him. And I think that is what the problem is mostly anyway.

With a strong bond of trust, comes personal security.

Take your time, reader. This is a test of work ethic here.

I’m not one to easily give up, but if I felt it going that way, I’d get it over before I let him pop my coochie again.

That’s just me. And this was my regular Jane advice.

Good luck and best wishes in the good stroke coming back to your lives together.

If you have a question for The Eroticist to answer, the inbox is open. Write to: TheEroticistsAdvice at g mail dot com (make it look like a real email address before sending), and your questions and my answers will hit this blog on Tuesdays. 

#support #indieauthors Buy all of my erotic books Rate and read and leave reviews while you’re there.

Reader Email: I’m A Swinger, But She’s Fucking Up The Rotation

The Eroticist’s Advice 

This week’s email comes from a female reader in one messy situation:

I am a swinger. I often go out with a friend (Fiesty) and her acquaintance (Fragile) to events and parties. All three of us women indulge together when we are out. Recently, both Fragile and I have slept with Fiesty, but not in a threesome, separately. Fiesty and I are close and a lot alike and we both respect our relationship for what is. Fragile is not so carefree. Recently Fiesty told me Fragile has been asking all up in our business, about my past with my exes, and it’s really starting to piss me off. Fragile has also expressed to Fiesty her feelings are beginning to grow into more than just sex. Thus, although they’ve only known each other for 6 weeks. It’s not like Fragile can’t get anyone else. She has plenty of beautiful women at her feet.

This situation is putting me in a fix and I don’t know what to do. Do I confront the Fragile or let Fiesty handle it?

–Signed,  Swinging Isn’t Supposed To Be This Hard.

Most people would read this letter and center on the swinging, but there is more to our reader’s dilemma than just the sex between three women who are open sexually, as individuals and to the world. Swingers aren’t the only ones having sex with multiple people. They just are the ones who have owned their desires and have become honest with themselves and their partners. So this advice can go for anyone who hasn’t claimed the lifestyle as well.


One thing that people need to realize is that we are all human. Rules are rules, but we tend to break them when we get to sexing. “Swinging” although you don’t sleep with Fragile, your friend Fiesty does. Your simple relationship’s complexities have been confounded thrice. You have lost, what I don’t know, one degree of sexual separation between you and your friend’s lover. All I know is the shit has gotten deep whether you want to deal with it or not, but you have to deal with it.

In my experience, people don’t act like your friend’s lover unless they have caught feelings, and people don’t catch feelings over nothing. Again, for a whole ton of people sex brings a whole new turn of events to the scenario . You happen to be one of those who can fuck and not melt at the heart. Or maybe you just haven’t met that right one yet, and maybe your friend’s lover has.



With all great chances, it could be that Fiesty has whipped that thang on Fragile and the woman just can’t get over it. Her questioning your friend about your past seems like she wants an in to knock you out of the picture.  Girl, take it from me, some people just won’t let you be great in peace. They can’t all be on our level of getting and dishing those nuts like a Queen. Girl, I know you don’t want to, but you must consider their challenges and attend to the issues they have brought to the table.

Advice Breakdown

As I’ve conferred with Mr. Drama about this issue, we both agree that it would likely be best you cut your losses with Fiesty and walk away. You are all swingers. What is it to have new pussy to females like you three? Right, you stated in your letter that your friend’s lover has beautiful women at her disposal too, but they aren’t Fiesty.


Pillow talk can be a muthafucka to the lives of those who weren’t there for the talking. After laying with Fiesty,  y’all shoot the shit and swap stories and spill like you usually do. The same is happening with her and her lover, even if she says they aren’t close like you and her are. Sometimes people see things as basic because that’s all they want to see. They ignore what they’ve done in a situation to add or take from it, but they have done something.

You shouldn’t confront Fragile. That’s Fiesty’s job. Fragile may be working your last good one, but shit. She won’t be the last, and I know she wasn’t the first.

How important is this sexual relationship with Feisty, because it may be time for it to end. Once more, you have options, and you already know how to implement them. It may be time. It’s all in what you want to put up with.

You could always do nothing and wait and see what all kinds of disasters this mess can escalate into. One possibility in particular I wrote about in my latest book, “Swinging Submission” ( It is erotic, very, but it also involves a precautionary tale which I believe anyone sexing more than one person at once and they all know should read up on.

The moral to the story: All the good intentions in the world can still end up fateful. Know when to cut ‘em off and keep it pushing. All good pussy ain’t even worth it.

–Log on next week to read my advice to a reader who wants to know how to get back into loving sex with her husband AFTER he’s CHEATED.

If you have a question for The Eroticist to answer, the inbox is open. Write to: TheEroticistsAdvice at g mail dot com (make it look like a real email address before sending), and your questions and my answers will hit this blog on Tuesdays. 

#support #indieauthors Buy all of my erotic books Rate and read and leave reviews while you’re there.



Reader Email: Can Friends Just Be Friends?

The Eroticist’s Advice 

Here we are for another week with another reader wanting advice:

Can two friends of the opposite sex truly be in a friendship without having sexual thoughts about each other? Please advise.

–Signed, Fucking You In My MInd, But We’re Still Friends.


Dear Fucking You In My Mind,

This one is a toughie for me.

I don’t consider myself an average human being. In my mind, I can be in a friendship with someone of the opposite sex and not think about fucking him. I know that many cannot do that, men and women.  Does it matter if he has the lips and nose upon his face that I am so attracted to? No, it doesn’t.


I am involved, so that may very hell have a lot to do with it. I’m satisfied with the person I am with, and secure within myself, and which does affect the circumstances. An insecure person is more likely to stray from what they already have, constantly needy for more sex from outside of their relationship to fill them up. Would an insecure person also look at their friends as possible conquests, or misconstrue love in a friendship as romantic love? Yea, I think they would.


Friends should be viewed close in our hearts as we do our siblings, or at least cousins. Off limits! You tell them all your worries and secrets, but no touching under the clothes, or masturbation to the sound of their voice. It’s just eww if you do.

Does the world share my unique view? Hell no! Most will say that no man can be trusted to be a woman’s friend. Again, weakness will make you easier to succumb to the calls of your carnal desires in the presence of a friend.

It’s called limits. Get you some.


Do some men and women use their friendship as a cover for their true sexual and romantic relationship? Yep! Do friends turn into lovers because there is something genuine there between them that needs exploring and establishing at the next level? Everyday,  but it’s still rare.

Advice Breakdown


To the woman who can’t stop thinking about the dick print in her friend’s pants, I say to you: shift your vision to the dick print in the pants of the man to his left. You don’t need the drama of insatiable thoughts about your best friend when he’s just trying to vent about his wife’s bad cooking and texting obsession. He needs you to be there for him. Do that. Find someone available to you in a way that won’t put you in the predicament to be lead into awkward territory and cause you to have to decide to give up someone who means so much to you or risk skewing a perfectly special bond into a relationship that could just as easily not work as any other you may get into.

Keep your friends out of the nasty corner of your mind, your bed, and your sex swing. Friends should stay friends only.

–Next week’s question comes from a reader who wants to know why some women can’t just enjoy the swinging and not catch feelings and how to keep her pussy utopia above ground. Subscribe so you won’t miss it when The Eroticist and Mr. Drama give their advice.

If you have a sexual thing going on you could use some advice about,  write to TheEroticistsAdvice at g mail dot com (make it look like a real email address before sending), and your question will be answered on this blog on Tuesday. Identities are kept anonymous. 

#support #indieauthors Buy all of my erotic books from Rate and read and leave reviews while you’re there. Muah!