When I say I am a sex goddess, I don’t just mean with the men. Women lust hard for this pussy too. What is it, the smell of my hair? The thickness in my lips? My pretty tits?
Sometimes it’s good to get some pussy thrown at you, other times you just want a tired bitch to sit her ass down on a boulder of ice and let her pussy glacial-ize.
I’ve swerved some of the biggest female beasts I didn’t want to touch me, and I’ve also dodged having to see my friends naked when they thought it was time to take things to the next level. One particular friend, and one night after visiting a spot with dangling sex toys on a wall, a cash register inside, and a huge sign out front, gives me flashbacks all the time.
Why, ma’am, as we soon as we arrived back at your place, you had to get undressed and changed into a skimpy ass bathrobe before you invited me back to your bedroom to “talk”?
When I’m in one these “nasty for all the wrong reasons” situations, here’s what I do:
- Blame it on the kids. If you’re a parent, you know the advantages of having your kids to save you. Tell her the kids are sleepy. Suddenly the kids have an elaborate bedtime routine that involves singing, dancing, three reenacted stories, and fresh baked cookes… from scratch! After three hours, she will be too annoyed to push. *If you don’t have kids, or none are available, lay it on your needy ass man. If you don’t have one, blame it on your mama. Just use anyone’s neediness as your rescue.
- Tell her, she’s too much like a sister for you to part her pussy lips with your tongue. This doesn’t have to be lying if you do care for her that way, but if you have to “Stretch Armstrong” some truths, DO IT. I won’t be mad. Keep it cute and light. You don’t want to make her cry. If you do, then she can take your tactic to make into a pretzel so that you will give in. Nope!
- Remind her of your crotch rot! Again, just make up shit. If she wants to rock pussies with you after that, lose her number and never look back. People say kissing is the most intimate act. I say eating pussy is. I am not saying everyone turns down sick twat, but if they won’t, you don’t need them in your life. If they will knowingly eat a cottage cheese dripping pussy, that nasty bastard will do anything.
It may be easier to have your first pussy fest with a friend, and it may be convenient to fuck them regularly, but not all friends are good enough to look at after you’ve munched. The truth is always better, but sometimes you just don’t feel like telling it.
Trust! I know. The truth has lead to too many hours and days long conversations/interrogations that I don’t have the attention span, nor temperament to endure.
When not interested…
… but if the circumstances are totally different, and you actually want that P, feel free to bathe her.